Speaking Of Conspiracies, Did You Hear The One About Putin Taking Back Sonoma County?

Proud Sonoma County vintner, Vladimir Putin, peddles his stock in front of newly annexed Sonoma County, California, yet another place Russia USED TO own, and which Vladdy just might try to retake while Barack Obama is making appeals to Europeans to get ready for war—or you know at least war posturing.
So, you have probably heard how Vladimir Putin totally punked all the little Western dweebs, whose statesman (in Europe) is some elderly ex-East-German-Commie who hates dogs! (actually a point in Angela’s favor)), into thinking Vladdy was some kind of post-commie, Draculacrat, who would have been a regular addition to the European Unity movement, except for his having grown up to be a KGB colonel who, totally unexpectedly, was secretly intending on rebuilding the Russian empire (which included Alaska, as well as bits of Hawaii and California).

Speaking of the latter, ever heard of Fort Ross, California? Or the Russian River—which Russians back in the day (when they owned the land and named stuff in California) called the Slav River?

Now, what if Vladimir Putin decides, along with Crimea, he would like to reclaim that long-lost bit of California? Just so you know, when Vladdy does that, he’ll be reclaiming modern-day Sonoma County—“No Chardonnay for YOU!”

In fact, here is what Wikipedia says about Sonoma County:
“Much of central and northern Sonoma County is in the watershed of the Russian River and its tributaries.”
Close your eyes and imagine they are talking about an empire, instead of just a river.

And now for the scary bit: Barack Obama is in charge of defending Sonoma County, California from invasion by unmarked Russian troops.

Great.

Might as well start handing out the ushankas and balalaikas right now.

But that isn’t the conspiracy theory I wish to discuss with you today.

Nope, it’s this.

See, every time the world-wide military-industrial complex (we’ll call ‘em The Complex) takes a hit, like from the USA winding down the Terror Wars, and with most people not so crazily afraid any longer that Osama bin Badguy is going to plant a bomb in their underwear, the aforementioned Complex is frantic because it is about to lose a LOT of influence and money.

That is already happening in the USA, as the military is doing the usual postwar budget slashing and preparing to be relatively peacetime in its size and scope.

Well, we can’t have that, can we?

Let’s see, who was that all-purpose, ever-scary, evil empire that we were never seriously going to go to war against (because the world would have joker-burned to dust in a couple of hours), but which we could dangle in front of the Western dweeb club to get them to toss tons of money on military power?

Oh right, that was the Russians! They were always such good enemies, weren’t they?

And, after all, Vladdy Putin is an honest-to-Stalin ex-commie KGB colonel and everything. And the fact is, even if Vladdy isn’t any longer a commie, and has instead gone back to being a kind of (democratically anointed) Czar, that doesn’t make Russia any less nuclear-tipped scary.

And just so we take this shocking view seriously, there are people out there, people whose credentials are supposed to be very credible, telling us that if Vladdy overplays his hand right now, and marches into Ukraine, it’s gonna be very doomy Dr. Strangelove.

For example, this is Dr. Jeffrey Sachs, on Morning Joe two days ago, telling us that Armageddon was packing its bags for a possible visit to Kiev:
“War…I think if Putin were to march into Kiev, this would be absolutely—we would be on the precipice for global disaster. If Putin is marching into Kiev, I hope we have a quick show, because it is going to have to be a quick one.”
In plain terms, Sachs is warning that Russian tanks and paratroopers in Kiev, Ukraine, might invite the kind of nuclear exchange between the West and Russia that could be an ELE—extinction level event. Very scary, isn’t it?

But, here’s the thing. What if Dr. Sachs, and all the blither-blathering pundits, who are telling us this and that about what is going on, are just playing us, or are getting played by The Complex? What if, among other sources of income, Vladdy Putin is getting a big, healthy, check from people like Lockheed Martin, who might all of sudden be getting a lot more orders for F35 Yancy-Fancy fighter jets?

Because, you know, in all fairness, Putin should be getting a check from them, and from all the other weapons makers, military commanders, and war-pushers.

For example, in what basically amounts to a war speech yesterday, Barack Obama chided fellow NATO members to increase their military spending to “step up” to the challenge presented by the new Russian threat:
“Today, NATO planes patrol the skies over the Baltics, and we’ve reinforced our presence in Poland.  And we’re prepared to do more.  Going forward, every NATO member state must step up and carry its share of the burden by showing the political will to invest in our collective defense, and by developing the capabilities to serve as a source of international peace and security.”
Two kinds of Flanders. But most Americans only know about Ned. One gets the impression, listening to President Obama stumble repeatedly trying to say "Flanders Field", that Obama had probably only become acquainted with the words in the drive over to an American war memorial. There, Obama said he would never forget seeing the graves of 368 Americans, who died fighting to liberate Belgium—nope, not in World War II, but in World War I. Altogether, 117, 000 Americans died in World War I. How many will die in World War III?
AND, in what seems like a coordinated effort between the White House and its American media partners, the New York Times this morning published an article, “Military Cuts Render NATO Less Formidable as Deterrent to Russia”.

In this article, the President’s message is bolstered by pointing out how the European NATO members have always been overwhelmingly dependent upon the US financial and military commitment to NATO, and should now be expected to do more.

In addition, the article offers a disturbing analysis of how difficult it would be for the United States to fight and win a war in Ukraine. It does not take long for the phrase “a higher level of intensity” to be employed, meaning that one side or the other might be tempted to use nuclear weapons to obtain a quick victory that would not come in any protracted conventional struggle.

Seriously, the New York Times is ALREADY explaining the logistics of the coming war with Russia in Ukraine.

And, parse this statement from the article:
“Even if Russia moves into eastern Ukraine, senior administration officials said, there should be absolutely no expectation that American troops would head to Kiev.”
Again, “eastern Ukraine”, no problem. But “moves into Kiev”, maybe it will be the biggest problem you can possibly imagine.

There are a lot of things the current current events are about—but mainly it is about recapturing lost territory, whether that is in Crimea, Sonoma County, or the banks accounts of The Complex.

So remember—do your part as well—spread the conspiracy.

It’s good for the economy!

And, the way things are going, the economy may not be around all that much longer. Or you either.

Comments